The 5 – no 6 – no 7 – no 8 Love Languages

But wait… There’s more!

Thanks to the work of marriage counsellor Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, most of us understand that each of these acts of devotion is an expression of our unique love language, Chapman’s name for the unique ways we express love to each other—and seek to be loved. 

Dr. Chapman’s original theory was borne out of his work with married Christian couples in the 1980’s and formalized in his 1992 book. Chapman’s work changed the way we think about relationships and has become part of the language that couples and counsellors depend on to talk about relationship dynamics. But the theory is also the product of a very different time, and a very limited and homogenous sample.

The original love language types laid out by Chapman are:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Physical touch
  3. Receiving gifts
  4. Acts of service, and 
  5. Quality time

Is it time to update the list with some new thinking?  Here is the start of a conversation.

Here is a quick summary of some new ideas by Elle, Malone and London.


A new 1: so 5 + 1 = 6

Shared experiences is a new addition to the love language universe. According to PureWow, people who have this love language prioritize creating special memories with the person they’re in a relationship with. They actively seek out adventures and memorable experiences that they want to share with their partner, and doing so makes them feel loved.



Truity’s new 7 Love Styles test measures your preferences in regards to the newly identified seven styles. Here’s the breakdown:

  1. Activity

People who focus on the Activity love style feel special and valued when their partner takes an interest in their hobbies and activities and makes an effort to enjoy hobbies and interests together.

2. Appreciation

People who focus on the Appreciation love style feel loved when their partner gives them compliments, praise and thanks. They appreciate hearing explicitly what their partner likes and admires about them.

3. Emotional

Those who focus on the Emotional love style feel loved when their partner connects with them and supports them through difficult and scary emotions. Being present for the highs and lows is very important to those with the Emotional love style.

4. Financial

People with the Financial love style feel loved when their partner is generous with resources and sees value in spending money to bring their partner pleasure and joy. This love style may be expressed through gifts or just making space in the family budget for your partner’s enjoyment.

5. Intellectual

People with the Intellectual love style like to connect through the mind. They feel loved when their partner values their intelligence, respects their opinion and thoughtfully discusses important issues.

6. Physical

People with the Physical love style feel loved when they receive physical affection—hugs, holding hands and snuggles. They want their partners to show they’re attracted to them and initiate loving touch.

7. Practical

People with the Practical love style feel loved when their partners chip in with everyday duties and responsibilities. They feel cared for when their loved ones do chores and offer help.


A new 3 – so 5 + 3 = 8

  1. Shared Travel

Traveling together is not the same as quality time. It’s about discovering something new for the first time together – be it adventure, taking risk, and sharing a new experience. Discovering a culture, trying unfamiliar cuisines, and being thrown into different situations together can both test and strengthen a relationship – bringing you closer, or equally shifting the relationship dynamic toward breaking point. 

2. Healthy Debate

In a recent survey, Seeking discovered that PhD candidates receive 30% more interaction than any other degree type: “The fire of intellectual debate can fuel a relationship beyond its early stages, and make for a lasting, passionate connection that stands the test of time.”

3. Goal Sharing

This is a greater conversation surrounding modern dating, but it involves being in the position to both elevate your partner, and yourself through your relationship: “Be it emotionally, intellectually, or physically, it’s a love language that involves bettering your significant other in some way and gaining joy from seeing them succeed in their life and career when you have had a personal hand in it.”

Here are the source links:

Just over a week to go in 2016!


Just over a week to go in 2016!

What are you celebrating as your big accomplishments this year?
Personally, my 2016 exceeded my expectations. I have such a deep sense of satisfaction when I review this year.

So, as 2017 comes into focus, what’s on your mind?

Taking a little time near the end of the old year can be a terrific way to ramp up your new year. That’s what I am doing today, in preparation for my next year. Care to join me?

Here’s a recommended format, which takes about an hour and fifteen minutes. You’ll need three pieces of paper….

Click the link here to continue reading…


Happy Christmas.

LOVE ‘EM OR LOSE ‘EM – Getting good people to stay— from A to Z

What’s the Cost of Loss?

Countless research studies suggest that the cost of replacing key people runs between 70 percent and 200 percent of their annual salary. Hard costs can include advertising, search firms, interviewing and relocation expenses, and sign-on bonuses. And the softer, harder-to-measure costs can include time spent on interviewing, orienting, and training (and the work put on hold to do it), lost customers (due to their loyalty to the former employees), and declining morale and productivity on the part of remaining coworkers.

You can read the rest here…

2015-09-19 20.15.27

The McKinsey 7S Framework – Very Useful

The model is based on the theory that, for an organization to perform well, these seven elements need to be aligned and mutually reinforcing. The model can be used to help identify what needs to be realigned to improve performance, or to maintain alignment (and performance) during other types of change.

The 7S are structure, strategy, systems, skills, style, staff and shared values & vision.

7s McKinsey


The model is most often used as a tool to assess and monitor changes in the internal situation of an organization.

Whatever the type of change – restructuring, new processes, organisational merger, new systems, change of leadership, and so on – the model can be used to understand how the organisational elements are interrelated, and so ensure that the wider impact of changes made in one area is taken into consideration.


  1. To analyse how well an organization is positioned to achieve its intended objective
  2. Improve the performance of a company
  3. Examine the likely effects of future changes within a company
  4. Align departments and processes during a merger or acquisition
  5. Determine how best to implement a proposed strategy

The Seven Interdependent Elements

The basic premise of the model is that there are seven internal aspects of an organization that need to be aligned if it is to be successful

Hard Elements – Strategy, Structure, Systems

Soft Elements – Shared Values, Skills, Staff, Style

The McKinsey 7S Framework is a management model developed by well-known business consultants Robert H. Waterman, Jr. and Tom Peters (who also developed the MBWA– “Management By Walking Around” motif, and authored In Search of Excellence) in the 1980s. This was a strategic vision for groups, to include businesses, business units, and teams.

Competition Policy Review Threatens NFP Mission

The Not for Profit sector has been warned that a review of competition policy in Australia could have a significant effect on the future uniqueness of the social economy – but few organisations are engaging in the review process.

Sector leader and Executive Director of the Brotherhood of St Laurence, Tony Nicholson, said the implications of the current Harper Review into Competition Policy was drawing little attention from the Not for Profit sector despite its implications being far reaching.

You can read the article here.

How to Create a Social Media Marketing Plan From Scratch

I really enjoyed this recent article from Buffer boy Kevan Lee.

And then they had this neat section about “When should you be posting?” as follows”


There are many neat tools to show you the best time of day to post to Facebook, Twitter, and more. These tools look at your followers and your history of posts to see when your audience is online and when historically have been your best times to share.

So what’s someone to do who’s just starting out on these social networks, with no audience and no history?

Again, this is where best practices come in. Perhaps the most helpful (and adorable) infographic I’ve seen about timing comes from SumAll, whichcompiled timing research from sites like, Search Engine Watch, and Social Media Today to create its awesome visual. Here’s an overview of what they found in terms of timing (all times are Eastern Time).

  • Twitter – 1-3pm weekdays
  • Facebook – 1-4pm and 2-5pm weekdays
  • LinkedIn – 7-8:30am and 5-6pm Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday
  • Tumblr – 7-10pm weekdays and 4pm on Fridays
  • Instagram – 5-6pm weekdays and 8pm on Mondays with a sweetspot at 6pm
  • Pinterest – 2-4pm and 8-11pm weekdays with weekends being the best
  • Google+ – 9-11am weekdays

Read the full article here.